My dear friend, Marianne, reminded me that I hadn't written in this blog for a long time (last post was July 18) and wondered why. Really good friends are the ones that ask the difficult/piercing questions, aren't they. Thank Heaven for 'em.
Have you ever started out on a trip that turned out to be totally different than the one you planned? That happened to me last Spring when Kel and I drove our truck and travel trailer out to Montana for our niece, Audra's, wedding (May 1). We thought there'd be lots of hiking and kayaking...but there wasn't: weather--lots of cold and rain and SNOW! What did happen was lots of (indoor) time with people, both family and friends. Our expectation was to be filled up, once again, with the natural beauty of the West. What happened was deeper connections with family and friends.
This "life" trip that I've been on for 6-plus decades has included heart events (I had bypass surgery in 2000) that I've finally realized aren't interruptions of my life but are part of my life--and, at that, a very important part of my life. Things have not always turned out as I had planned and, even though I can't see very far ahead of me, I'm learning to be at peace with the wisdom that's drawing me deeper.
I'm now waiting for a heart procedure to happen next week (Sept. 8) that may be an answer for me...or not. In this ten years of slowly learning that all I have is this moment and the people who are there with me (and I'm not there yet), I know the supreme importance of inner healing which renders physical healing a distant second. I have also discovered that in the worst of physical distress there can be peace but only through surrender.
We all walk the "life labyrinth" metaphorically every day. On Tuesday, September 7, I'll be walking the labyrinth on Nazareth Road in Kalamazoo (directions below) at 9am for a few hours. Please join me if you can...arrive in silence and leave in silence, respecting the pace of others. The labyrinth is always open so come anytime.
I invite you to share the unplanned learning experiences in your "life labyrinth."
DIRECTIONS: Coming from downtown Kazoo, take Gull Road east past Borgess Hospital. Turn left (north) at the light on Nazareth Road (stone fence on the left) and take the second break in the stone fence. There's a small parking lot about 200' in--if it's full, just park along the road inside the fence. The labyrinth starts at the two green flags.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
SWIMMING TOWARD LIGHT
I awoke this morning envisioning myself swimming straight up from darkness toward a shimmering light on the surface of the water above me. I felt weightless and a strong, joyous sense of awareness that I would reach the light, even though I could not make out anything above the light.
I am reminded of the passage in I Corinthians 13, "For now we see through a glass darkly, but then face to face: now I know in part; but then I shall know even as also I am known."
Today, I am still recovering from having my heart shocked into normal rhythm last Tuesday. In considering this event symbolically, I have been desiring for quite some time to interact with others with a softer heart--dropping judgement and expectations that have been keeping me out of rhythm with my inner guidance. Through the chaos of a wildly beating, inefficient heartbeat has come a quiet, regular rhythm offering me a new start with a softer heart.
A poet whose poems have only deepened in meaning over the decades--Rainer Maria Rilke--once again offers new wisdom:
THE SOLITARY PERSON
Among so many people cozy in their homes,
I am like a man who explores far-off oceans.
Days with full stomachs stand on their tables;
I see a distant land full of images.
I sense another world close to me,
Perhaps no more lived in than the moon;
They, however, never let a feeling alone,
And all the words they use are so worn.
The living things I brought back with me
Hardly peep out, compared with all they own.
In their native land they were wild;
Here they hold their breath from shame.
Please write and tell me what you are discovering in your "far-off ocean."
I am reminded of the passage in I Corinthians 13, "For now we see through a glass darkly, but then face to face: now I know in part; but then I shall know even as also I am known."
Today, I am still recovering from having my heart shocked into normal rhythm last Tuesday. In considering this event symbolically, I have been desiring for quite some time to interact with others with a softer heart--dropping judgement and expectations that have been keeping me out of rhythm with my inner guidance. Through the chaos of a wildly beating, inefficient heartbeat has come a quiet, regular rhythm offering me a new start with a softer heart.
A poet whose poems have only deepened in meaning over the decades--Rainer Maria Rilke--once again offers new wisdom:
THE SOLITARY PERSON
Among so many people cozy in their homes,
I am like a man who explores far-off oceans.
Days with full stomachs stand on their tables;
I see a distant land full of images.
I sense another world close to me,
Perhaps no more lived in than the moon;
They, however, never let a feeling alone,
And all the words they use are so worn.
The living things I brought back with me
Hardly peep out, compared with all they own.
In their native land they were wild;
Here they hold their breath from shame.
Please write and tell me what you are discovering in your "far-off ocean."
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
WHY MEMORIZE?
Isn't it strange that when we are not distracted by ordinary thoughts how quickly we seem to drift into some negative harbor in our minds or hearts, such as financial stress, relationship problems, unresolved emotional crises, health problems, or job issues? Our egos don't like empty spaces and, since our egos thrive in the past, the empty spaces between ordinary thoughts goes into taking up the worries of past traumas.
Our society is weighted in favor of what's wrong, what's in pain, and what's missing in our lives as opposed to what's right and what's enough. Have you ever heard a commercial tell you, "You probably already have more than enough. What else could you possibly need?" Choosing to fill our minds with thoughts of gratitude, compassion, peace, etc. are choices. I liken our choice-making ability to building up a muscle--if I continue to choose to dwell in truth, it will become second nature to come from truth.
So what does this have to do with memorization? I can just see you cringing at that word. I have never met one person who's said, "Gosh, I'm good at memorizing." It's always, "I just can't seem to memorize anything." Or, "Memorizing is very difficult for me." My question is, why would anyone think they were good at it if they never did it? It's like saying, "Tennis is very difficult for me." when you've picked up a racket twice in your life!
I am constantly amazed at what happens when I memorize something. I enjoy reading poetry and have my favorite poets. When I read a poem thoughtfully and then read it again, and yet again, I fall in love with it. But...when I memorize it, I take it one word at a time, link it phrase by phrase, observe the deeper connections, let it transport me beyond my mind. My practice is to write it on a recipe card and carry it with me until I can say it by heart. If I have chosen a really good one, there is no way to completely apprehend it with my mind but there is something in it that resonates on a deeper level where there are no words and where I know I'm supposed to go...and also where it feels like home.
Again, why memorize? When I start getting entangled in the negative fears and worries, I bring my mind to something I have memorized. Not once in the decades since I have started this practice has it failed to bring me to grace--where I realize my connection to peace. I must admit that sometimes it's difficult to turn off that negative stuff because there is something that entices us about rummaging around in it, like a piece of good gossip. Maybe we think that at least in worrying about it we have some control over it, I don't know. If you've ever been down or depressed, it seems a monumental effort to just get up and go outside and let some fresh air into your head. The more often you let yourself make a new choice to leave fear and enter truth, the quicker it will pop into your head to do so. Your ego exists on fear and when you stop feeding your ego, it will diminish.
Everyone has writings that speak to them. If you choose biblical writings, I would suggest you make it more than just one verse. Egos can be relentless and need to be dealt with firmly, so build up your cache of memorized treasures so that by the time you are finished with reciting, you are transported into joy.
I have always enjoyed poems by Rumi and just recently I discovered that his ecstatic poems were channeled--no surprise there. Here's is one that I just recently added to my treasury:
THE TORRENT LEAVES
Rise up nimbly and go on your strange journey
to the ocean of meanings, where you become one of those.
From one terrace to another and through clay banks
washing your wings with watery silt,
follow your friends. The pitcher breaks.
You're in the moving river. Living Water,
how long will you make clay pitchers
that must be broken to enter you?
The Torrent knows it can't stay on the mountain.
Leave and don't take your eyes from the sun as you go.
Through him, we are sometimes crescent, sometimes full.
(Open Secret, p. 68; Furuzanfar #2873--translated by Coleman Barks)
Enough already on memorizing? So...what do you think?
Our society is weighted in favor of what's wrong, what's in pain, and what's missing in our lives as opposed to what's right and what's enough. Have you ever heard a commercial tell you, "You probably already have more than enough. What else could you possibly need?" Choosing to fill our minds with thoughts of gratitude, compassion, peace, etc. are choices. I liken our choice-making ability to building up a muscle--if I continue to choose to dwell in truth, it will become second nature to come from truth.
So what does this have to do with memorization? I can just see you cringing at that word. I have never met one person who's said, "Gosh, I'm good at memorizing." It's always, "I just can't seem to memorize anything." Or, "Memorizing is very difficult for me." My question is, why would anyone think they were good at it if they never did it? It's like saying, "Tennis is very difficult for me." when you've picked up a racket twice in your life!
I am constantly amazed at what happens when I memorize something. I enjoy reading poetry and have my favorite poets. When I read a poem thoughtfully and then read it again, and yet again, I fall in love with it. But...when I memorize it, I take it one word at a time, link it phrase by phrase, observe the deeper connections, let it transport me beyond my mind. My practice is to write it on a recipe card and carry it with me until I can say it by heart. If I have chosen a really good one, there is no way to completely apprehend it with my mind but there is something in it that resonates on a deeper level where there are no words and where I know I'm supposed to go...and also where it feels like home.
Again, why memorize? When I start getting entangled in the negative fears and worries, I bring my mind to something I have memorized. Not once in the decades since I have started this practice has it failed to bring me to grace--where I realize my connection to peace. I must admit that sometimes it's difficult to turn off that negative stuff because there is something that entices us about rummaging around in it, like a piece of good gossip. Maybe we think that at least in worrying about it we have some control over it, I don't know. If you've ever been down or depressed, it seems a monumental effort to just get up and go outside and let some fresh air into your head. The more often you let yourself make a new choice to leave fear and enter truth, the quicker it will pop into your head to do so. Your ego exists on fear and when you stop feeding your ego, it will diminish.
Everyone has writings that speak to them. If you choose biblical writings, I would suggest you make it more than just one verse. Egos can be relentless and need to be dealt with firmly, so build up your cache of memorized treasures so that by the time you are finished with reciting, you are transported into joy.
I have always enjoyed poems by Rumi and just recently I discovered that his ecstatic poems were channeled--no surprise there. Here's is one that I just recently added to my treasury:
THE TORRENT LEAVES
Rise up nimbly and go on your strange journey
to the ocean of meanings, where you become one of those.
From one terrace to another and through clay banks
washing your wings with watery silt,
follow your friends. The pitcher breaks.
You're in the moving river. Living Water,
how long will you make clay pitchers
that must be broken to enter you?
The Torrent knows it can't stay on the mountain.
Leave and don't take your eyes from the sun as you go.
Through him, we are sometimes crescent, sometimes full.
(Open Secret, p. 68; Furuzanfar #2873--translated by Coleman Barks)
Enough already on memorizing? So...what do you think?
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
HUMILITY/HUMILIATION
One of our deepest fears is to be humiliated--to be treated as if we have no value. We all have vivid memories of being:
--unheard
--unloved
--unwelcome
--discounted
--uncared for
--shamed
--denied
--judged
--unworthy
--disrespected
As along as our self worth is dependent on how others treat us, we will always be open to humiliation
When we examine each instance of past humiliation, really let ourselves feel it, and then forgive the humiliator and ourselves, we will take a huge step toward wholeness and true humility. Why? Because the act of forgiveness allows us to see the humiliator (and ourselves) with compassion, to recognize our mutual pain of being humiliated. As we forgive, we heal, clearing our path further to our Source, the Divine.
There will come a time when we cannot be humiliated ever again because our self worth comes from within--our Source. I heard a person quietly say once in response to a particularly insensitive comment, "You can't offend me." I saw humility in action. This comment was made in compassion--the healed person who said it recognized the broken, unhealed heart of the speaker.
When we are whole, we can heal others just by being completely present. Carolyn Myss, in ENTERING THE CASTLE, says, "Humility is wearing our souls on the outside."
Please share your experiences on your path to true humility--we all need each others' support.
--unheard
--unloved
--unwelcome
--discounted
--uncared for
--shamed
--denied
--judged
--unworthy
--disrespected
As along as our self worth is dependent on how others treat us, we will always be open to humiliation
When we examine each instance of past humiliation, really let ourselves feel it, and then forgive the humiliator and ourselves, we will take a huge step toward wholeness and true humility. Why? Because the act of forgiveness allows us to see the humiliator (and ourselves) with compassion, to recognize our mutual pain of being humiliated. As we forgive, we heal, clearing our path further to our Source, the Divine.
There will come a time when we cannot be humiliated ever again because our self worth comes from within--our Source. I heard a person quietly say once in response to a particularly insensitive comment, "You can't offend me." I saw humility in action. This comment was made in compassion--the healed person who said it recognized the broken, unhealed heart of the speaker.
When we are whole, we can heal others just by being completely present. Carolyn Myss, in ENTERING THE CASTLE, says, "Humility is wearing our souls on the outside."
Please share your experiences on your path to true humility--we all need each others' support.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
EVERYDAY COURAGE
I am preparing for a family birthday celebration for my husband, Kel--he's going to be 62. I know my proclivity for getting buried in the details of preparation--cleaning the house, grocery shopping, wrapping presents, cooking, etc.--and ending up frazzled and exhausted at the end of the day. Sound familiar? I also have the added joy of doing all this with three of my grandsons staying the weekend.
I love my husband, I love my grandsons, I love to have my family over, and I love to cook. My challenge is to reach the end of the day with my heart full, a smile on my face, and just pleasantly tired. As long as I stay aware of my source and rein in my ego, this will happen. Why is this courage?
Because it takes courage to choose to be happy. I've watched my mother choose to be happy after she moved to a retirement home. I heard her say, "Gee, I don't have to do my laundry, I don't have to cook my meals, I don't have to clean up after myself, and everyone here is wonderful to me. What a life!" I have seen people in this same retirement home make different choices about their response to their life situation, causing sadness and pain to their families and their care takers.
It takes courage to accept what is, to be here now. It takes courage to see each person as a vital and blessed part of my life, to be able at any moment to sacrifice what I am to what I can become.
Heroes rarely see themselves as having acted in any courageous way. Many times, we've heard them say, "I just did what anyone would do." Sounds kind of humble, doesn't it? For just a split second there, they were called upon to be exactly in the moment--their egos did not have time to kick into gear and they did just the perfect thing.
It can be like that all the time when we understand how our egos have kept us from living consciously in this present moment. Courage, then, has a chance to rise and respond, seeing the current situation without the filters of fear and self-protection, and to do what's needed at just the right time. Eckhart Tolle wrote THE NEW EARTH, which helped me to finally understand that the ego cannot exist in the "now," it is always about my history--the traumas of my past. Tolle went so far as to suggest that we don't even need our egos anymore. That's a courageous statement and one that bears investigating.
So living in the light of this perfect moment allows the qualities of my spirit to flow--compassion, grace, healing, love, peace, etc.
Please share your stories of everyday courage so we can all support each other in our journeys.
I love my husband, I love my grandsons, I love to have my family over, and I love to cook. My challenge is to reach the end of the day with my heart full, a smile on my face, and just pleasantly tired. As long as I stay aware of my source and rein in my ego, this will happen. Why is this courage?
Because it takes courage to choose to be happy. I've watched my mother choose to be happy after she moved to a retirement home. I heard her say, "Gee, I don't have to do my laundry, I don't have to cook my meals, I don't have to clean up after myself, and everyone here is wonderful to me. What a life!" I have seen people in this same retirement home make different choices about their response to their life situation, causing sadness and pain to their families and their care takers.
It takes courage to accept what is, to be here now. It takes courage to see each person as a vital and blessed part of my life, to be able at any moment to sacrifice what I am to what I can become.
Heroes rarely see themselves as having acted in any courageous way. Many times, we've heard them say, "I just did what anyone would do." Sounds kind of humble, doesn't it? For just a split second there, they were called upon to be exactly in the moment--their egos did not have time to kick into gear and they did just the perfect thing.
It can be like that all the time when we understand how our egos have kept us from living consciously in this present moment. Courage, then, has a chance to rise and respond, seeing the current situation without the filters of fear and self-protection, and to do what's needed at just the right time. Eckhart Tolle wrote THE NEW EARTH, which helped me to finally understand that the ego cannot exist in the "now," it is always about my history--the traumas of my past. Tolle went so far as to suggest that we don't even need our egos anymore. That's a courageous statement and one that bears investigating.
So living in the light of this perfect moment allows the qualities of my spirit to flow--compassion, grace, healing, love, peace, etc.
Please share your stories of everyday courage so we can all support each other in our journeys.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
I TALK TOO MUCH!
I ran across this poem this morning written by Lao Tzu in the TAO TE CHING which seemed to have my name written all over it. It starts, Dear Julie:
No. 23
Sparing indeed is nature of its talk:
The whirlwind will not last the morning out;
The cloudburst ends before the day is done.
What is it that behaves itself like this?
The earth and the sky! And if it be that these
Cut short their speech, how much more yet should man!
If you work by the Way,
You will be of the Way;
If you work through its virtue
You will be given virtue;
Abandon either one
And both will abandon you.
Gladly then the Way receives
Those who choose to walk in it;
Gladly too its power upholds
Those who choose to use it well;
Gladly will abandon greet
Those who to abandon drift.
Little faith is put in them
Whose faith is small.
I have found myself still talking long after people's eyes have glazed over. Even when I'm sensing that I'm losing connection with someone, I talk even more rather than allow a silence to exist. I know that when I voice lots of opinions, it keeps me from taking in new information but I still persist in having my say. When I comment idly on the lives of others, I have realized that I'm subconsciously making the assumption that they don't know what they're doing and that I do. I'm not honoring (judging) the path/journey that they're on.
Even though I know that words are ultimately inadequate to express truth and beauty, I still have so much confidence in talking and not as much in silence. Then I found another poem by Lao Tzu:
No. 56
Those who know do not talk
And talkers do not know.
Stop your senses,
Close the doors;
Let sharp things be blunted,
Tangles resolved,
The light tempered
And turmoil subdued;
For this is mystic unity
In which the Wise Man is moved
Neither by affection
Nor yet by estrangement
Or profit or loss
Or honor or shame.
Accordingly, by all the world,
He is held highest.
In James 3:17 of the Bible, it says, "...the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure and full of quiet gentleness." There's that "quiet" word again. Makes me think of that old saying: Better to be silent and thought stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt." I remember hearing that alot from my parents. Hmmmmmmmmmm. I overheard my mother say to my aunt one day that I could make pleasant conversation with a post!
According to Lao Tzu's poem No. 56 above, this silence comes from "mystic unity". So, the stronger our connection to our Source, the more silent (or wise) we become? It's difficult to grasp with the mind, isn't it? Maybe that's why the poem encourages us to "stop your senses, close the doors".
What are your thoughts and experiences with talking too much?
No. 23
Sparing indeed is nature of its talk:
The whirlwind will not last the morning out;
The cloudburst ends before the day is done.
What is it that behaves itself like this?
The earth and the sky! And if it be that these
Cut short their speech, how much more yet should man!
If you work by the Way,
You will be of the Way;
If you work through its virtue
You will be given virtue;
Abandon either one
And both will abandon you.
Gladly then the Way receives
Those who choose to walk in it;
Gladly too its power upholds
Those who choose to use it well;
Gladly will abandon greet
Those who to abandon drift.
Little faith is put in them
Whose faith is small.
I have found myself still talking long after people's eyes have glazed over. Even when I'm sensing that I'm losing connection with someone, I talk even more rather than allow a silence to exist. I know that when I voice lots of opinions, it keeps me from taking in new information but I still persist in having my say. When I comment idly on the lives of others, I have realized that I'm subconsciously making the assumption that they don't know what they're doing and that I do. I'm not honoring (judging) the path/journey that they're on.
Even though I know that words are ultimately inadequate to express truth and beauty, I still have so much confidence in talking and not as much in silence. Then I found another poem by Lao Tzu:
No. 56
Those who know do not talk
And talkers do not know.
Stop your senses,
Close the doors;
Let sharp things be blunted,
Tangles resolved,
The light tempered
And turmoil subdued;
For this is mystic unity
In which the Wise Man is moved
Neither by affection
Nor yet by estrangement
Or profit or loss
Or honor or shame.
Accordingly, by all the world,
He is held highest.
In James 3:17 of the Bible, it says, "...the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure and full of quiet gentleness." There's that "quiet" word again. Makes me think of that old saying: Better to be silent and thought stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt." I remember hearing that alot from my parents. Hmmmmmmmmmm. I overheard my mother say to my aunt one day that I could make pleasant conversation with a post!
According to Lao Tzu's poem No. 56 above, this silence comes from "mystic unity". So, the stronger our connection to our Source, the more silent (or wise) we become? It's difficult to grasp with the mind, isn't it? Maybe that's why the poem encourages us to "stop your senses, close the doors".
What are your thoughts and experiences with talking too much?
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
RAIN
There is a place whose still heart
beats for me
calling to be exactly where I am,
here and there.
They are the same and always will be,
I have finally found.
The heart that holds me
was there from the very beginning
and followed me closer than my breath
all this long journey,
the one that teachs me,
so lost in that great heart--
a drop of rain in a rain river.
Turn around. There it is
and always will be, changing all
my stories into one.
Why did I ever think to leave
my soul's great home?
How does this life on earth
teach my very soul,
connected to all things as it is?
Do I leave home to learn
how to come home?
beats for me
calling to be exactly where I am,
here and there.
They are the same and always will be,
I have finally found.
The heart that holds me
was there from the very beginning
and followed me closer than my breath
all this long journey,
the one that teachs me,
so lost in that great heart--
a drop of rain in a rain river.
Turn around. There it is
and always will be, changing all
my stories into one.
Why did I ever think to leave
my soul's great home?
How does this life on earth
teach my very soul,
connected to all things as it is?
Do I leave home to learn
how to come home?
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